


Valentine Scramble

by MariekoWest



Series: DragonBall(☆)Retro [7]
Category: Dragon Ball Z, GohanxPiccolo
Genre: Anachronical Unfolding of Events, Battle Royale/Royal Rumble, Crack, Expletives, F/M, High School, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Lemon, Lime, M/M, Other, Rabid Females/Raging Female Hormones, Shounen-ai, Smut, Uke Gohan, Uke Piccolo, Valentine's Day, Yaoi, 腐向け, 飯Ｐ
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-23 07:33:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9646514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariekoWest/pseuds/MariekoWest
Summary: With Valentine's Day just around the corner, lovesick high school girls and their hormones are revving up to fight tooth and nail for their desired V-Day Ball date in a ruthless battle royale-esque precursor competition known as The Valentine's Rumble. Gohan lands number one on their “Most Wanted” list but unfortunately for him, this is one battle where being the strongest in the galaxy is moot. Can his guardian demon-slash-boyfriend save him from this without exposing their secret relationship to the whole world?





	1. Wish

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Prom Date](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/263399) by walked-into-the-sky. 
  * Inspired by [How Great It Is To Be Loved By You](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/263402) by Pic's-Pixie. 



> Map of   
>  ** DRAGONBALL(☆)RETRO **
> 
> * * *
> 
> **Legend:**  
> 
> 
> **[ !! ]** Has *very* important related events to current story  
>  **[ - ]** Has events related to current story  
>  **[ x ]** Not yet published  
>  **[ .. ]**  In progress  
>  **[ o ]** Complete
> 
> * * *
> 
> **CHRONOLOGY:**
> 
> * * *
> 
> "Don't Smell The Rozealeas" [ o ]  
>  "Look At the Dark (Mirare Obscura)" [ x ]  
>  "Eyes Only For You" [ o ] **[ !! ]**  
>  "What Didn't Really Happen" [ .. ]  
>  "Truer Than Love" [ o ] **[ !! ]**  
>  "God Smitten" [ o ][ - ]  
>  **"Valentine Scramble"**  {YOU ARE HERE}  
>  "Foreshock" [ x ]  
>  "Upside-Down Inside-Out" [ x ]  
> 
> 
> ### ...

He has fought many unspeakably ruthless and bloody battles even before he turned six; terribly horrific battles no normal six to sixteen-year-old will likely ever be called to fight at any point in their normal lives.

But tonight, here; within the very walls of his supposedly “normal” high school campus, he found it hard to call anything about what was happening “normal” (in his world or the rest's).

For one, he was _battling_ instead of the usual things students supposedly did in schools.

Two, he was up against what looked to be a legion of hormone-driven teenage girls who were out for his blood.

And three, he was, for the first time in his life, questioning that one thing he has always been sure of amidst all the challenges and uncertainties that came his way; that what he felt for his first and only love could never be swayed by anything, not even by all the beautiful girls in the whole world.  _He loved Piccolo Daimaoh Jr. more than anything and everything_ —and it’s true, he has never once doubted that.

Until now.

_She moved like the wind riding into the perfect storm that raged around him; she landed, all too soon, right in front of him as though even chaos and time itself had parted to give her way._

 

Until this girl.

_Frozen and gaping, too stunned to do anything else but stare at her—it was like staring at paradise on long legs; how could anything on Earth even be so wonderful to behold? His mouth was captured before he knew it, and he was melting fast like he was but putty in her hands._

  

Until this stolen kiss.

 

_To which, against all better judgement, he could not stop himself from kissing back._

And somehow he, knew that nothing would ever be normal again because whoever this newcomer was… _She came, she took, and_ _she gave him no choice_ _…_   

 

 _But to fall madly in love._  

Even as he was falling apart.

 

**-x-**

 

They say be careful what you wish for because you just might get it…

 

_All Son Gohan Jr. wanted was for the one he loved to be his date for that night's Valentine's Ball…_

 

 _This wasn't exactly what he had in mind._   

* * *

**End of [01] "Wish"**  
**Next: [04] "February"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  I apologize for the minor revision in this chapter. This has been giving problems and I needed to tweak it. Cheers!   
> 


	2. Are You Ready to Vrumble?

  **Vrumble** – /vrʌmb(ə)l/ _n._ Offically _The Royal Vrumble_. An exclusive annual event held by Orange Star Academy where students compete in a battle royale style tournament for a chance to date their dream prince for the entire grand _Valentine’s Day Ball_.

 

**The Main Objective & Rules of The Royal Vrumble:**

Competing students must chase and manage to steal the corsage or boutonnière of their target date intact in order to "win them". But in return, they must also have their own corsage or boutonnière intact for their target date to take and wear in place of the one stolen from them. This 'seals the deal' for them as official V-Day Ball dates, so to speak.

If a stalemate occurs wherein two or more rivals encounter each other in a standoff wherein all parties stand an equal chance at grabbing their single target’s corsage or boutonnière, they must engage in a mini showdown to eliminate the competition. This is achieved via either of the two contest options; _The Love Quotient_ or  _The Love Battle._

_The Love Quotient_ is a battle of compatibility and wits where questions preprepared by their target are drawn randomly once per round and competitors who answer least satisfactorily get ousted from the showdown. _The Love Battle_ , on the other hand, is simple and straightforward, hand-to-hand physical combat where competitors whose corsage gets ripped off and crushed loses.

Traditionally, everyone can chase or be chased, but the students whose names make it to the “Most Wanted” list are not allowed to chase, they can only be chased. The voting period for "Most Wanted" happens two weeks before February and the list of finalists is made public soon after. Whether students chosen as “Most Wanted” are currently dating, romantically involved, or have already chosen a desired date for the V-Day Ball is irrelevant. Their partner or chosen date must _still_ join The Vrumble and fairly compete for them and win them according to the competition's rules like the rest of the participants.

If a competitor's corsage or boutonnière is crushed at any point during the competition, they suffer "instant death" and will be automatically disqualified from participating any further in The Vrumble.

All participants who do not succeed in catching a date during The Vrumble aren't allowed to bring non-participants to The V-Day Ball. They have the option of asking any of the other available participants who didn't win a date as well or to simply go stag.


	3. Wish

To Our Dear Students & Esteemed Guest Students:

 

**Greetings from Orange Star Academy!**

We cordially invite you to fall head over heels with us this one unforgettable night of magic, madness, and romance in our very own special Valentine's Day event:

**The V-Day Ball!**

True to the spirit of Valentines, this is all about all of you lucky hearts already happily in love -but also anything but your average school dance, but more than anything- this event is devoted to those lonely hearts out there who have yet to catch their own love bug!

We at Orange Star Academy believe that love is for anyone who is willing to fight for it. Which is why we are offering all you eligible students within and outside of our campus walls a fair chance to snag the date of your dreams! Be it from any of the event’s registered participants or, dare to vie for any of the most sought-after dream dates our school has to offer from the “Top 10 Most Wanted” list!

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to make that dream prince yours and yours alone for one special Valentines night at The V-Day Ball, and even quite possibly, for keeps!

 

**_So are you ready to fight it all out for this chance to finally ensnare love?_ **

 

If you answered something along the lines of 'Hell, yeah! I'm in!' then all you have to do is complete 3 simple steps:

 **1:** Visit our campus anytime within two weeks before the 1st of February and vote for your V-Day Ball Prince.

 **2:** Register to join **The Royal Vrumble!** There are only limited slots available, so reserve your ticket now!

And last but definitely not the least…

 **3:** Get your game face, running heels, and best evening battle dress on! and be prepared to fight for that most unforgettable night of your coveted love life!

Good luck in love! And don't forget:

_All is fair in love and war!_

* * *

 

 **Registration Fee for OSA Students:**  
**The Royal Vrumble:**  1000Ƶ  
**The Valentines Day Ball:**  1000Ƶ

 **Registration Fee for Non-OSA Students:**  
**The Royal Vrumble:**  1500Ƶ  
**The Valentines Day Ball:**  1500Ƶ

 

* * *

  _*Non-OSA Students invited by the OSA Students get a special discounted OSA student rate!_

_*Students below 15 years old are not allowed to participate in The Royal Vrumble or The V-Day Ball._

_*Half of the proceeds from this event will go to the many causes supported by the Satan Charity Foundation._

_*Vrumble participants are fully responsible for their own health and any untoward outcome of joining irresponsibly. OSA management and the Satan Charity Foundation will not be held liable in the event of injuries, death, or pregnancy that may result due to the competition and any of its related events._


	4. February

_**Who is she?** _

It all started with that one, simple question; a seemingly harmless query that had randomly popped up after he had rejected what was to be the _“two-hundredth”_ love confession he had received that school year. (No, he wasn’t keeping count, but the school paper’s gossip section sure did; and as of this morning he was at a hundred and ninety-nine…)

He had already tried to dampen their interest in him in every way possible (even going as far as to say that he was a bad boyfriend but the planted rumour never caught fire). After his purported “breakup” with Videl Satan almost a year ago, the love letters and love confessions only swelled with the resurgence of admirers; most of which were freshmen and new students, while some were rebounders who refused to give up.

 

“She’s no one you know.”

 

Legitimately surprised at the sudden deviation from the customary routine, the unthought-of answer left his lips before he had the chance to assess its possible ramifications.

He didn’t even remember the asker’s reaction to his reply but the next minutes found him alone on that rooftop, settled into a lotus position and wondering if acknowledging the question in the first place was a mistake.

 

**-x-**

 

As February drew nearer, the question began to come up more often, to which he decided to limit his reply to that very same dismissive one-liner since it didn’t seem to give them much to go with at all, thus, he felt it was safe to go with.

 _‘Who is she?’_  soon became the fall-back-follow-up question for all the suitors he rejected.

Son Gohan Jr. didn’t quite understand it himself at first, but he was slowly and surely becoming miffed about it.

It wasn’t the act of giving them a generic response that was becoming unbearably tedious (he also used only one and the same spiel when rejecting love confessions) but it was more of having to say  _‘she’s no one you know’_  over and over again that made him increasingly frustrated. Every time he said it, he got incidentally reminded of the fact that  _there was nothing more he wished with all his heart_ than for  the whole world know  _who “she” was_ ,  _how much he loved “her”_ , and how he hated having to keep the blissful relationship they had a secret in the first place.

And yet, because of that “secret”—even if he shouldn’t be entertaining any advances from romantically interested parties anymore—here he was, forced to re-enact these pointless trysts over and over  _and over and over again_ … Forced to relive the ‘him’ of the past that he wanted to break away from so badly; watching a part of himself going insane right under his very own nose and quite helpless to stop it…

“Who is she?”

Another day rolled by where he found himself staring at this random girl who just popped that very same not-so-random-question anymore that just pushed all his wrong buttons, and it could be said, that Son Gohan Jr. finally snapped.

He had forgotten to give his perfunctory reply, and by the time he had finished calmly counting down from five to one in his mind, it was already too late. A new series of events had already been triggered and set in motion…

“She’s—”

“Just as I thought.”

Gohan sobered up instantly from his usual “auto-pilot” mode. _Nope, that wasn’t what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to let him finish his statement and they were supposed to both move on with their day._

He blinked up as this girl continued to break out of the standard mould of lovesick girls completely and proceed to invade his personal space. She was leaning forward now, her face poking as close to his own as far as her heeled shoes allowed her to.

“It isn’t really true, is it?” The girl straightened up, her arms already hooked onto her hips. “I know the drill. You’re going to say what you always say. That we don’t know her and that’s it. But the funny thing is, you won’t tell us anything else. Boyfriends are usually really proud of their girlfriends, you know.”

Gohan, feeling somewhat lightheaded, took the niggling with a friendly smile that made his facial muscles protest. “That’s because it doesn’t matter what I tell you about her, you don’t know her anyway. None of you do.”

“So you say.”

Gohan had to admit that her persistence was mildly amusing (but that was probably due to the fact that he was so desperately bored). They usually all took a hint and never asked beyond that one question.

“Does she at least have a name?”

“I’m sorry,” Gohan put his palms together in front of his face and bowed contritely. “But I can’t tell you her name either.”

“Why?” the girl was quick to shoot back. “Because she isn’t real?”

“Huh? Oh, no! Of course, she is!” Gohan insisted. “She’s just, you know… the extremely shy type. And as her boyfriend, I need to protect her as best I can.”

“R-really now?” The girl fumbled a bit, muttering something about ‘being sweet but overprotective to a fault’ but quickly got back on track with her line of questioning. “Tell me something else if not her name, then! Like–  _where is she from? What does she look like? What colour are her eyes? Does she have a turned-up nose or bad teeth? What are her hobbies? Her blood type?_  Hah! I’ll bet you won’t be able to answer any of those right away! Because you’re just making her up! Everyone knows you’re a really bad fibber, Gohan-kun!”

The hybrid Saiyajin bit his lip.

As much as he was dying to flaunt his  _very real_  relationship to get them off his back, that just wasn’t an option. As of now, only Bloomer, Vegeta, Dende, and Mr.Popo knew about it because of certain inescapable circumstances.

But even if he was fine with it initially, he had come to hate all the secrecy. After almost nine months of him and his true love being officially “together” and yet forced to hide what they had – it just didn’t feel as “official”; not when he was always looking over his shoulder and pretending to be single. Besides, what good was being “taken” if he couldn’t broadcast his status and use it to deflect the school’s populace who seemed to all want a piece of him?

**_‘You simply have to show them you’re taken. It doesn’t have to be real._ **

**_‘Pretend.’_ **

Bloomer Briefs’ words suddenly surfaced in his mind in a moment of-  _epiphany—or madness, or both?_  It didn’t make any difference to him at the moment.

_That’s right._

**_‘It doesn’t have to be real.’_ **

He could lie to them. Well, not exactly. If anything, it wasn’t a lie at all but a part of the truth. He didn’t have to pretend because he was every bit very much “taken” now. Perhaps, he was overthinking this and the solution had been presenting itself to him all along. Maybe he didn’t have to tell them but he didn’t have to hide it either. Sometimes the best way to keep a secret is to hide it out in the open. This girl’s nosiness could work to his advantage… 

 _He could tell them the truth, in the guise of a lie._  

Yes. It just might work.

Gohan took a deep breath, then he sat down cross-legged on the rooftop floor, the broad smile back on his face. The girl was a bit startled by this, eyes bulging a bit when he patted the ground in front of him, setting down his coat for her to sit on.

“You want to talk about her, right? But you have to promise not to tell anyone… Deal?”

She stared speechless for some moments but nodded slowly before she complied and sat on her shins on top of his spread coat.

“Well…” Gohan began, closing his eyes to better get into the mood of things. “To answer your questions:  _Earth; beautiful; blue; no; and no; meditating, martial arts, books, flowers- especially tulips; I’m guessing it’s universal,_  I haven’t really asked yet.”

When Gohan opened his eyes again, the girl’s utterly dumbstruck expression made him laugh.

“I… I don’t even… remember what I…” she stammered.

“Oh… Sorry. Okay.” He cleared his throat. “She was born on Earth; has the most stunning lapis lazuli blue eyes which turn amethyst violet depending on the time of day; she has the cutest button nose in the world and the most perfect set of teeth; she loves martial arts and meditating, reads a lot of books, and loves nature and flowers in general—but tulips are her ultimate favourite! She doesn’t sleep as soundly if she wasn’t top of or surrounded by beds of it. And as for her blood type, I think it’s universal, though I haven’t really thought to ask. But I think I will when I see her this weekend. I still can’t tell you her name, though, she’s really shy and I think she wouldn’t like that…”

Gohan returned his gaze to the girl to find her lips quivering and her eyes all teary.

“Whoa, hey, why are you crying?” Gohan flailed his arms, panicked. “Did I say something wrong? I _did_  answer all your questions, didn’t I?”

She shrugged and bowed twice, muttering her ‘thank you’, before shakily getting to her feet and making herself scarce.

Gohan scratched his nape, unsure of what had just happened. He really didn’t get girls at all.

“Oh, well…”

He got up and dusted his slacks before picking up his coat. Now, hopefully, the girl will break her promise and tell everyone about his “girlfriend” and  _hopefully_  finally rid him of this exhausting ritual; it ate up too much of his time! He wanted to get all of his homework done as quickly as possible so that he could be free to spend the weekends with his boyfriend without worrying about backlog work. Besides, his mother never let him leave until she was sure that his schoolwork was out of the way. It was bad enough that he always had to wait a whole week before being allowed to see his “best friend”. He hated losing even a single minute of the weekends to anything other than showering his beloved with, and basking in, his attention.

The girl—Gohan could not for the life of him remember the names of every girl (or guy) who confessed to him every day after class—didn’t disappoint. She had indeed blurted out Gohan’s secret to everyone the very next day, and he knew this because most of the usual suitors who ambushed him the moment he arrived at the school gate just gazed at him from a distance, showing him a wide range of disheartened to disillusioned expressions. The love letters too,  had already been reduced to half the usual quantity, and throughout the day, when he was still asked by an intrepid few if he could meet them at the rooftop, he politely declined, saying that it was true that he already had a girlfriend, and they relented—although not all of them did it so gracefully.

The news continued to spread faster than wildfire, and for the rest of the week, the resulting backwash had managed to extinguish almost all of his rabid suitors to a stubborn handful, which he easily dealt with. He was very pleased; his plan was proving to be a success!

 

**-x-**

 

Meanwhile, on her side of things, Videl Satan was not enjoying the “backwash” as much.

The heartbroken and-or outraged suitors resorted to her, and she became the “flock to” for them. They belted her with questions at every opportunity about Gohan’s “new secret flame” assuming that if anyone could give them the more “juicy” details about the  _‘whore who stole their Gohan!’_ , it would be her.

_‘You must have seen her, right?’_

_‘What is her name?’_

_‘Is she really as pretty as Gohan-kun makes her out to be?’_

_‘Is she really that much hotter than you, Videl-san???’_

The likes of that last question especially never failed to strike a raw nerve. She couldn’t very well tell them that this “girlfriend” of his who was  _‘hotter than her’_  was a seven-foot, green-skinned demon who once tried to conquer the planet. That—although honest enough—would make her sound like some  _bitter, jealous ex-girlfriend_  who was trying to traduce her rival. There was no way in hell she was going to let them have that! Plus, she’d sound completely batty, of course. Who in their right mind would believe her? Geez, she couldn’t even believe her own eyes when she saw her ex’s precious “Piccolo-san” that day. The idea that their darling  _‘sweet, innocent, and awkward Gohan-kun’_  has the hots for a cold-blooded demon’s spawn is quite the hard bit to swallow. As it is, they were already having so much trouble digesting that the boy had a picture-perfect Earth-born girlfriend– what more to the contrary?

What she chose to feed their flapping ears was only half the truth. That she didn’t really get to meet this girl he was talking about because he was very secretive and protective of her. Which in turn, sprouted other rumours, like how this girlfriend of his was probably really as ugly as fuck or had some kind of unspeakably hideous physical defect like fat thighs or a flat chest.

Videl found that last part just as irksome, as her own bosom was modest enough without the tape and padded brassiere. She mentally kicked herself when she caught her mind wondering for a split-second if Gohan did indeed like full-bosomed women or not when she had sworn that she _would not care or think about him anymore!_ Not after how things had ended between them.

And yet, here she was, being forced to think about him all over again almost every moment because of all the hype about his insufferable “girlfriend”. She never thought anything could be more humiliating than being dumped by a queer mountain boy for a hulking demon, but unfortunately, she was being proven sorely wrong…

“I still don’t buy it!”

A girl entering the changing room later that day after club practice was saying to her companion.

“She just sounds too perfect to be true! I mean, does a girl like that even exist?”

 _Ugh,_  Videl groaned inwardly.  _This again._

She ducked into a shower stall, hoping they didn’t see her because they would surely hound her for more details about Gohan’s stranger-than-fiction love life.

“But if you only saw how love-struck he looked! I never saw him like that when he and Videl were together!”

The beginnings of a hostile migraine were making itself known in Videl Satan’s temple. She would have jumped out and strangled the skank if she wasn’t trying to purge herself of the matter entirely.

“Maybe that’s why Gohan-kun didn’t want Videl-san to meet her! You know how kind he is, he probably didn’t want to hurt her any more than he already did. I mean, if I were in her shoes—being an entitled brat and all used to being on top of the world and getting everything I want—and I see that the girl who stole my hot boyfriend was so much better than me in the looks department, I would definitely lose it!”

 _Okay,_  Videl thought. That was below the belt! Just _one more_ poke at her pride and she  _will definitely_   _go berserker bitch-mode on these chitty-chatterers!_

“I know. And I’m just dying of curiosity now! I wish Gohan-kun would just show her off to the world already so we’d all know what the real deal is with her. I mean, if she really is  _that_  perfect, what’s there to hide, right?”

“Maybe he’s just saving her for the best! He might be holding out on us just so he could make a grand introduction of her as his date this  upcoming V-Day Ball!”

“Oh my gosh! You could be right! Everyone is required to attend! If Gohan-kun doesn’t bring his girl, he’s going to be forced to date someone else the whole night! And I doubt any sane girlfriend would allow their boyfriend to spend Valentine’s Day with someone else! Especially someone as dreamy as Gohan-kun!”

“I know, right? I hear this is his first Vrumble! Oh, the poor dear, we’re going to rip him apart!”

High-strung giggles bounced off the room’s enclosed walls.

“Then he’d better hope his stubby-legged girlfriend can run really fast! It doesn’t matter if she’s already got her fugly name written all over him, she  _still_  has to catch him to win him as her date to the dance! And the whole campus is going to be more than happy to rip her apart first to get to him, that’s for sure!”

More snorts and giggles followed, the rest of their excited prattling fading away as they  _finally_  went on their merry way.

Videl was soaking wet in her jersey by the time they had left the room, but she didn’t even feel it. In fact, she had completely forgotten that she had turned on the shower valve only to make them think that there was someone bathing and minding their own business in there and  _not_  at all eavesdropping—so thunderstruck by the little piece of precious information they had reminded her of that she had forgotten not to step into the spray of the shower completely. But she could have been struck in the head with a bat and she still wouldn’t have noticed at the moment, too preoccupied with only one thought flashing in big bright neon lights in her mind…

_The V-Day Ball._

_Of course._

Gohan needed a date for that event. And from the way the voting had gone the past week, it looked like his spot on the list of “Most Wanted” was secured. Which meant that he did not have the option to bring his own date or catch one, nor was he allowed to not be present in the school’s two very important Valentine’s Day events…

Which _further_ meant that he would _have to drag_ this imaginary “girlfriend” he made up to the Vrumble and make sure that he gets caught by her alone or he’d be forced to dance all Valentine’s night with someone else.

Either which way, no matter what angle she looked at it, Gohan was going to end up in one pinch or the other, and it was sweeter than any revenge she had ever dared hope for! And the best part was, she didn’t even have to do anything but simply watch things unfold!

If her trusty instincts served her right, this girlfriend he’s been blabbing about could be no other but that fearsome-looking seven-foot tall green man she saw floating outside his window. And if so, there was no way he could bring  _him_  to a school dance. No amount of makeup, haute couture or disguising could make him presentable enough in public without causing total uproar or pandemonium – maybe even both. No, there was no way Gohan was going to risk that… But how is he going to deliver now that everyone is expecting him to have a girlfriend to the dance…?

A feeling of exultation washed over her for the first time in days since this whole farce with Gohan’s mysterious “girlfriend” began, her ray of light finally beginning to break through the gloomy horizon that had overshadowed her since. She couldn’t wait for the day of reckoning to arrive!

Until then, a level-up in her running training could be necessary. She may have promised to steer clear of him since their “falling out”, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to grab this opportunity to make him suffer even more for it when the chance to do so presented itself so readily in front of her. He had humiliated and shamed her, and although she wasn’t one for revenge, she wasn’t a goody-two-shoes either, as everyone thought – just because she fought crime. If anything, that showed that she was a no-nonsense crusader for justice; and who was she to refuse if fate itself was lending her a hand in balancing the scales…?

Videl leaned back against the cold tiled wall, feeling as though a really funny joke had been told and she couldn’t stop the laughter writhing her insides. For the first time in months! her tired face cracked a genuine, truly “feel-good” smile… _Things were starting to look more promising on her side of the fence at last!_

It will be February soon…

 _What are you going to do now, Gohan-kun? Hmm… What ever are you going to do…?_  

* * *

 **End of [04] "February"**  
**Next: [05] "Saturday VS Monday"**


	5. Saturday VS Monday

The much-awaited weekend arrived and Gohan didn’t even wait for a proper greeting to leave his boyfriend’s lips. Upon his arrival at the Kami no Shinden, he sealed the Namek’s mouth with his own and kept it occupied with his tongue for a record-breaking number of minutes.

Piccolo Daimaoh Jr. got the message and didn’t resist, instead, he obediently surrendered his mouth and moaned like the ideal lover he was expected to be (not that he had a conscious choice in the matter).

“Kamisama, I missed you so much!” Gohan said breathlessly when their throbbing swollen lips disconnected at last. The boy hauled himself up and wrapped his legs around his lover's sturdy form so he that could lean into that elegant epicene face that he loved so much. Gohan fondly nuzzled against Piccolo’s nose like a cat marking its owner with a round of playful bunting, pressing a tender kiss to its almost dainty and sophisticatedly-sculpted summit. “I love you.”

Piccolo’s eyes were but half-masts by then, as always, the passionate greeting left him trying to catch up to his pulse and blink away the swirling pixie dust from his vision. The hybrid teenager clung to him tightly, reminiscent of how he always did as a child. Only now that he was a fine young adult, his thighs, legs, arms, and all, encompassed his breadth completely. He suppressed a shudder as he was also greeted by his secondary best friend and lover (the hybrid Saiyajin’s not-so-little boy) which—judging by the irrefutable poking at his abdomen—apparently missed him just as much and was immensely overjoyed to see him as well.

The ebony-haired teenager was usually very modest and even shy about  _that_ , but now was clearly not one of those instances. He felt the boy compress their bodies together even snugger as the more prominent the physical manifestation of his need grew. Gohan’s face burrowed deeper into the folds of his mantle trying to reach his neck; one hand languidly stroking his nape while the other was busy harassing his antennae under the heavy turban whilst he commenced with one of his favourite rituals, which was breathing in his green lover’s skin in careful drawn-out greedy gulps.

A loud and deliberate cough encroached on their steamy little love-love bubble, bursting it.

They both hazily turned to find Dende there; a rictus framed by furious splashes of deep violet all over the young teen Namek’s face.

“Yes, I am still here.”

The apprentice god was obviously trying to compose himself but his cracking façade diminished the desired effect of his efforts greatly.

“As much as I would like to leave you two to your- erm,  _privacy_ , I’m afraid I’ve already called dibs on this spot as my lookout post for today.”

Gohan tittered sheepishly, meekly offering his apologies as he climbed down from his towering lover and promptly headed for their usual hangout spots in the Kami no Shinden; the dazed Namek being dragged along behind him. 

Sometimes they stayed in Piccolo’s resting quarters, sometimes they explored and took advantage of the many unoccupied rooms that offered sufficient privacy in the temple's lower levels; but most of the time (because Dende preferred and even sanctioned it, especially for their more “intimate” activities) they confined themselves to the privacy of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber.

Piccolo was forced to come clean about his earlier statement that there was a limit as to how much time one can spend in the said chamber. It turned out to be a precaution to deter Vegeta alone, because Kami-sama—Kami, the former guardian deity of the planet—considered him unworthy. And anyone unworthy or “impure of intent” who stepped into the sacred chamber for more than the aforementioned allotted time could be trapped inside permanently – plagued by otherworldly hallucinations until driven to the very edge of madness in their desire to escape that they would step into the boundless nothingness of their own accord and end up roaming the infinite limbos within limbos inside it for all eternity until they eventually expired of dehydration or old age. And even beyond death, there would be no salvation waiting because it is said that the chamber consumed even one's soul.

The half-breed Saiyajin was overjoyed while the Earth-born Namek stunned speechless when after the normal limit, the mystical chamber welcomed them back recurrently and even granted them a minimum of twenty-four hours worth of extra time each week. It seemed that whatever forces governed the magical space favoured them and deemed their intent “pure”, even treating them like royal guests with all their provisions accounted for during their “stays”.

Even though the chamber was gracious to them, Piccolo, who still stood interim Kamisama, made Gohan promise to only use it when  _absolutely necessary_. But then it became a question of what the boy considered necessity, and it was very hard to win an argument when you were being kissed and made love to feverishly, which the half-Saiyajin made a point of doing to him whenever he wanted to discuss the topic. The Namek got tired of bringing it up altogether after the first months, and after much begging and grovelling, he just let his lover freely indulge in his  _“needs”_.

Such as now.

Piccolo had to hand it to Gohan though – he preferred to get at least a round or two over in a maddening haste so they could so other more “relaxing” things. Kissing and talking with their hands connected were among the lad’s favourites. All of those were done at the same time if he wanted to save time and do more of all. Nightfall usually had them both exhausted from the said activities and Gohan found just as much enjoyment staring up at the night sky and telling Piccolo the names of the different stars and constellations, singing to him, reciting poetry, reading him books, or just telling him stories about his everyday "normal" life, to which Piccolo always listened with rapt interest – something Gohan absolutely adored him for. No one was as unselfishly attentive to him as Piccolo always was.

“ _Ne_ , Piccolo-san,” Gohan began that night. “I did something this week… I don’t know if it was right, though.”

When Piccolo only grunted an acknowledgement, Gohan continued…

“I told a girl in school about us…”

That made Piccolo’s ears twitch slightly but his floating lotus posture remained undisturbed.

“…Who in turn told everyone else.”

The sound of the fountain took precedence some moments more before Gohan’s voice floated up to Piccolo’s waiting ears again.

“But–  not exactly. You see, I  _did_  tell her about you– but I really  _didn’t._  I didn’t tell her your name or any specifics but…” The boy sighed deeply. “It felt so good to have the entire school know and I was beyond happy to be able to talk about you—about us—as a couple. But… in reality… I really didn’t.”

At that point, Piccolo’s concentration was unsalvageable. He dropped to the ground, all attempts at continuing his meditation defenestrated, and stood in front of Gohan whose head rested on one open palm for a pillow, back flat against the ledge of the garden’s grand fountain, gazing up towards the heavens.

“Could you try to be more ambiguous? I don’t think that was confusing enough.”

The demi-Saiyajin sat up, blushing heavily under his boyfriend’s delectable sarcasm. “I told them about us!” he blurted out, an apologetic look on his face that made Piccolo’s lips press into a thin line.

“Only– you didn’t… Right?” The Namek finished, brow slightly lifting. “I get that… _But I really don’t._ ”

Gohan laughed with forced levity, all the while fidgeting and looking pained for a few agonizing moments before he threw himself at the man and imprisoned him in a fierce embrace. So fierce, in fact, that if Piccolo let up his Ki even just for a little bit, he was sure his rib cage would cave in from the force of it.

“Gohan…” Piccolo wheezed.

“They thought I had a girlfriend! I don’t know how or where it started, but it wasn’t entirely untrue—they were actually half correct—so I didn’t deny it! I played along and talked about my ‘girlfriend’ without telling them that she was ‘ _also_ my boyfriend’! I know we agreed to keep ‘us’ a secret and it was selfish of me to go ahead and do such a thing  _and I’m sorry_  I broke our agreement! But the truth is, I’m really  _not_  sorry because I loved every minute of it! I admit that it’s been rough before all this—before ‘us’—but I never thought that being so  _fucking happy_ and not sharing that happiness with the world would be  _so hard_ —much harder than anything I imagined! You're the only thing I’ve ever wanted and didn’t know I needed, and Kamisama knows that I’m just too proud and raring to tell the whole universe that I love you so much Piccolo-san! Now that you’re finally mine, I'm just– _it's just too much happiness to keep locked inside!_ ” The boy’s hold grew tighter with the rambled admission like he was afraid his lover would storm off upon hearing it.

The Namek blinked, speechless. His vision somewhat bleary and his heart hammering in his chest. He knew, and Gohan never failed to remind him, that he was dearly loved. But to someone like him who used to have nothing but resentment and loneliness, it still never failed to sound and feel like one surreal and wonderful dream.

Brown misty eyes slowly peered up, searching those glimmering pools of dark amethyst.

“Forgive me?”

 

* * *

 

 

“Does she have stubby legs?!”

“Huh?”

Gohan was being entertained by the overly cheery cloud tufts parading before him from their classroom window when the voice intruded on his daydreaming. Mondays weren’t his favourite days. They were farthest away from his precious weekends, hence the longest days for him.

Only less than a week since he let news about his girlfriend “accidentally” leak out and he couldn’t say he was surprised anymore when the traffic of girls and questions only increased.

They skulked everywhere waiting to jump him for minute but ruthless interrogations. They wanted more details or confirmation for the ones they’ve heard (since there were so many versions going around now). Most of them kept coming back to cross-examine him, hoping to discredit the consistency of his accounts of his girlfriend. But so far, they were just wasting their time. He wasn’t actually making anything up, all he had to do was tell them the truth (a more ingestible version of it). But the more he entertained them, the more formidable their tenacity grew. He had to be extra careful not to let it slip that his darling girlfriend was also a seven-foot-tall, very beautiful, and very male ex-demon-slash-alien. To allay this, he dodged their questions as much as circumstances would permit without being impolite or off-putting. But even now, in the privacy of their own classroom during the lunch break, his own classmates weren’t sympathetic enough to cut him some slack.

“She has stubby legs, doesn’t she? I mean, everyone knows about your too-perfect-to-be-true girlfriend by now, but for real? Nobody’s that perfect! And going with everything you’ve said about her so far, that’s one of the things you haven’t covered, so that must be one of her imperfections, huh?”

Gohan felt every pair of eyes and ears in the room zoom in on his pending answer. But it was a Monday, and Mondays weren’t really his day, so he got up and excused himself to use the loo.

But the girls (there were three of them this time) refused to let him pass, practically breathing fire down his neck.

 _Geez, girls can be really scary at times, acting like a bunch of savages towards possible rivals,_ Gohan thought wearily as he sat himself back down.

He could let them have their “imperfection” that his girlfriend had stubby legs and be over with it. It wasn't like any of their opinions really mattered to him anyway and maybe an imperfection will satisfy them enough to finally shut them up. But, alas! Even he knew by now, that was being overly optimistic. Furthermore, based on experience, he has never really been good at lying so that almost always got him in bigger trouble. Even if he was technically still lying he decided that he might as well be as truthful about it as possible.

Gohan sighed as he braced himself to face his "adoring" public once again, already feeling that it was going to be _one helluva long school week_.

“Sorry, but that would be a ‘no’.”

“What? No way!” The trio of girls exclaimed in impressive unanimity.

The classroom was instantly all abuzz.

The one who had what looked to be at least three layers of makeup stuck her face in front of his. “So, do you mean her legs aren’t fat, just short then?”

"Whu-?" _What the heck was wrong with these girls? Why was it so important for them to find something to besmirch in the one he loved? Didn’t they know how mean and rude they were being?_ “No. She has long,  _long_  legs! The kind that are shapely and strong and go on forever,” Gohan said somewhat irately, cranking up the sweetness of his smile to compensate. “It doesn’t even matter what she’s wearing! From pyjamas to panties to _nothing at all!_ Her legs make everything look _so good_ it never fails to turn me on! Especially when we’re kissing and I’m touching her there and she’s squirming beneath me because she’s really ticklish and—” 

Gohan snapped out of his very colourful and vivid narrative when he finally took notice of how the room had gone deathly silent; so silent that his voice was bouncing off the walls in crisp echoes. Everyone’s faces had either alarmingly reddened or paled, eyeballs barely hanging on to their sockets, and jaws spilling all over the floor. Some of the boys looked quite sufficiently undone, too shocked to even notice or care about the blood trickling from their noses or the drool dripping from their mouths.

The girls who had been probing him squeaked as he found their eyes again, and after wordlessly bowing several times, they quickly exited the room.

The half-breed tittered weakly, as he turned away from them. Okay, so maybe he had gone just  _a little bit_  over the top with his answer, but he couldn’t say that he regretted it either. It did shut them up. Sort of.

Before he could return to his own business, however, a hand slammed down on his desk making him and everyone else jump in their seats.

Following the hand up to the arm until finally, he came face-to-face with familiar sky-blue eyes that belonged to—

“V-Videl-san!”

Gohan could tell by the expression she wore and her burning cheeks that she wasn’t pleased to see him at all.    

“Thank you, once again, for providing us with that very ‘enlightening’ insight into your personal life with your girlfriend from Neverland, Gohan-kun. And it’s good to know that she’s the sporty, athletic type because I took the liberty of reserving your ‘girlfriend’ tickets to The Vrumble and the V-Day Ball since you seem to have forgotten to save tickets for her yourself and they’re almost sold out.”

Gohan gaped at the two jaunty pink envelopes on his desk, one with his name on it, while the other was blank. Then he looked back up at the girl standing before him, hoping to see even just trace amounts of clemency in her features. What he saw instead, was undisputed evidence to the contrary.

Videl Satan has changed so much since their falling out, and not only in terms of attitude towards him, but her whole appearance got an overhaul as well. Her twin-ponytails were gone, replaced by a short shaggy cut, which he thought suited her “tough girl” aura all the more (certainly a lot less cumbersome when fighting). And even if she was in the standard Orange Star Academy’s *spring uniform, the attitude shift and the new hairstyle was like the last pieces of the puzzle to fall into place to finally complete her whole “tomboyish” image. (Except that he wondered why the padded brassiere was still needed.)

“Sorry if I interrupted your cute little pyjama party, but as Class Representative and Student Council President, it is my duty to inform you (knowing you, you probably haven’t checked the announcement on the bulletin board yet) and ‘congratulate’ you for acing the ‘Most Wanted’ list of "Most Desired Date" for the Valentine dance. You won the majority of  _‘legitimate’_  votes, which puts you on the hot seat as The Prince of The Royal Vrumble. Which means, you can’t chicken out on this one like you did last year, because _this year_ , you have an obligation to everyone who voted for you, which is to allow them a fair chance in catching you as their date.”

“Ehh??” Gohan fell back on his seat, hitting the desk behind him in the process and causing Sharpner who had been listening in, to tumble from his chair.  

“P-p-p-prince?? Hold on…”

Videl already had her best Cheshire cat smile ready. “Congratulations, Gohan-kun!”

The hybrid swallowed dryly. “C-can I refuse?”

“Well…” The brunette’s lips curled into an evil smile. “If you want to ruin our charity event and reduce the number of attendees to less than half—because most of them only signed up for a chance to date you—then sure, go right ahead and spoil everyone’s fun, no problem!”

 _Checkmate._  Videl thought as Gohan slumped in his seat as if knowing he was cornered. She stuck out her chin and crossed her arms, relishing in the bewildered helpless look that continued to adorn her “ex-boyfriend”’s face, not at all resisting the temptation to gloat. Her perfect revenge was slowly falling into place! 

“Isn’t this exciting? The whole school will finally get to meet your mysterious sweetheart!”

“Uhh, yeah… I guess…”

“Oh, what’s the matter?” Videl asked in a cloyingly syrupy tone. “I thought you said your quote-unquote _girlfriend_ didn’t have stubby legs? From how you were going on about your girlfriend’s _strong, endless_  legs just now, it should be a cinch for her to capture you. Well, that is, if she can manage to evade the rest of the school population vying for you first, of course.”

“Yeah, about that…”

 _“Unless… she’s too busy_ and has better things to do on Valentines than fight for you… Well, if she really doesn’t mind sharing you with someone else for one very special night, then I’d understand why you didn’t remember to invite her…” Videl picked up the blank envelope and straightened up, holding up the article for everyone to see; her aura practically dripping with smug satisfaction. “In that case, I guess you don't need this then and I should let someone else who wants it to have it, yes?”

Gohan’s eyes tensely followed the envelope knowing that Videl was baiting him, trying to get him to slip up and admit that he really didn’t have any girlfriend—not one he could bring to the dance anyway— which is why his mind was screaming at him to take that darned envelope and damn the consequences, if only to prove her wrong. 

Of course, he could also go with the roundabout truth and tell them that he didn’t care about the Valentine’s Ball or whatever crazy tradition preceded it. Going down that path, however, almost guaranteed that he’d be back to square one and everyone would be harassing him one way or the other for whatever. If it wasn’t for a date or a love letter, it would be to hear their endless love confessions. The worst-case scenario would be everyone knowing that he'd been lying all this time and they’d all hate him and make him the laughing stock of the entire school. If that was all that he stood to suffer, it wasn't that big a deal, he could take that. Surely they’d get tired of hating him eventually, right?

But Gohan feared that a significant percentage of the school (which were rapidly becoming comprised of suitors he rejected) were out for blood. He could sense their lust to be appeased of the expectation he planted in them; to see this "girlfriend" that trumped all of their hopes and dreams so unjustly before their very own eyes as proof. He had a bad feeling that if he didn’t serve that part of his private life to them soon (this Valentine’s) on a silver platter, they would invade his personal life and hunt down his girlfriend to see her for themselves; and the last thing he wanted was to drag Piccolo into this mess he started (well, more than he already had).  

Gohan’s skin crawled as the ominous pressure in the room continued to stab at him from all directions. Once again, everyone was on tenterhooks, waiting for his reply; some looked worried, some looked hopeful, while some of the boys even had money ready in their hands— _wait, money? What the—? Some actually thought to make a wager of this??_

The demi-Saiyajin’s words seemed to be lodged firmly somewhere in his throat on the way to his tongue, refusing to be expunged. It was clear to him by now that he might have seriously miscalculated how the whole rumour of him and his controversial girlfriend would get blown out of proportion so drastically. He didn’t think that high school life could be even more pathetic than those reality TV shows he often heard his classmates raving about before. Did the whole school really have nothing better to do than kibitz in his private life??  _Ugh, Kamisama, this is a nightmare._

The sound of a throat being cleared brought his attention back to the waiting class representative, Videl Satan, and the bright pink envelope she was waving in mid-air.

“I take your silence to mean your girlfriend isn’t coming. So you don't need this anymore, am I correct? Suit yourself, then. It just means there’ll be more of you for everyone to enjoy.”

Gohan's hearty, somewhat delirious, chuckles cutting through the tense atmosphere stopped Videl prematurely in her dramatic exit and made the rest of the class bate their breaths even further.

“Oh, Videl-san! You didn’t have to sell it so hard! I was just a bit shocked because I forgot all about Valentine's events altogether.”

Videl’s eyebrows went up a notch.

“I’m actually relieved you saved my girlfriend a ticket! You're a lifesaver. Thanks a lot, Videl-san!” Underneath the practised carefree smile, Gohan was neck-deep in self-admonition.  _Great. Way to go digging your grave even deeper, Gohan. Soon you’re going to have to lie in it, and poor Piccolo-san will have to lie in it with you._

Videl returned the envelope to his desk, a smirk growing on her face and her eyes gleaming with silent triumph.

 _Uh-oh._ Gohan swallowed. _That was never a good sign, any day._

“My pleasure, Gohan-kun. That’ll be one grand zennies for both you and your little love bug's tickets.”

Gohan complied without letting any of the panic he was feeling seep into his face. He nonchalantly took the corresponding bill from his pocket and handed it to the girl.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” she turned back suddenly just when he was starting to allow himself to feel relieved.

A clipboard sloppily landed on Gohan’s desk, on top of his books and school papers. And somehow, he already knew what was coming, unable to stop his eyes from growing a bit wider.

“You’ll have to write your guest’s  _name_  on the corresponding number on this form.”

Gasps filled his ears and he stared at the corresponding number that had a blank space that was waiting to be filled. Suddenly, everyone was crowded around him, waiting for him to fill out the required information.

“I know you specifically stated that your girlfriend is very secretive about her name, but I’m afraid it has to be written there and on her ticket, or she won’t be allowed to enter the premises.”

Gohan couldn’t remember how to breathe all of a sudden.

Videl’s smirk slowly grew into a leer.

“Oh,” The demi-Saiyajin grinned ruefully.  “You got me. I guess I have no choice then.”

“No, you don’t.” Videl smiled sweetly.

He picked up his pen and leaned forward without taking his eyes off the sheet. If he faltered even for a bit, Videl would be all be able to tell that he was making up names. He had one second—one second and a half tops!

“I have a question!”

The entire congregation doubled over. Even Sharpner whose neck had been making like an ostrich from the desk behind him trying to get a close-up of the action, fell back and toppled from his chair (again). Collective groans, both pained and-or annoyed, are heard all around him.

“What is it??!” Videl Satan hissed, looking steamed. 

“Err… You mentioned ‘legitimate votes’… were there _illegitimate_ votes…?”

“Yes!" Videl snapped through clenched teeth. "Saiyaman got more votes than you but he’s obviously not allowed to participate for too many self-explanatory reasons—and your question is irrelevant so quit stalling and just write her name already!!”

“Geez, okay…” Gohan winced. “No need to shout.”

 _Here goes nothing,_ _he breathed deeply._ Bending down low so that his form covered most of what he would be writing and keeping it from everyone’s view until he was done, he made sure to write it swiftly. As soon as the tip of his pen lifted off the page, the clipboard was yanked from under him, earning collective groans all around and complaints for Videl to tell them the much-awaited name of Gohan's alleged new girlfriend.

Gohan let out a slow breath as Videl eyed the name – _hard_. She had her suspicions, that much was obvious. But then again, she always had, about almost everything,  _especially to do with him._

It only took a moment for Videl to read the name, but she went over it more than twice, more than thrice even, he could tell. Then she shoved the clipboard into her tote bag before anyone could grab it from her or properly see what Gohan had written. A piercing stare from her was fixed on him the very next second and Gohan did his best not to let the plastered smile on his face falter.

He was about to nonchalantly ask her what was wrong when the bell rang out signalling the end of the break. Gohan sighed as the teacher entered the room and everyone settled back into their seats. He could still feel Videl’s piercing look boring into him from the side. He knew he had just officially signed up for a silent war and there was going to be hell to pay very soon. But a matter of more immediate importance took precedence in his mind as of the following minutes…

How to make a speedy exit after class knowing that the entire school was going to be all over him.

* * *

**End of [04] "Saturday VS Monday"  
Next: [05] "Come Sunday"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***spring uniform** \- Our headcanon is that Orange Star is an elite public high school (yes, I think there can be such a thing). It wouldn't make sense for Gohan to enter a private school which was more expensive, considering Chi-chi is a single mother who is living a very frugal life (they aren't exactly rich anymore, even if she once lived in a castle). So Gohan wears a standard uniform here. 
> 
> In Japan, most public high schools have very generic-looking uniforms. Private schools have their own uniforms but they are different from public ones and tend to stand out more (because are quite posh and flashy). I got the impression that Toriyama-sensei patterened Orange Star High after your typical American high school because they don't have uniforms. Either that, or after super elite private schools in Japan which would be very expensive. This brought up the question: _Does Gohan have the wardrobe to compete with that?_ Not having a uniform and can be very costly! Sure, it's anime so they don't change their clothes but I wanted Retroverse to take place in a world a little bit more believable and true-to-life. Gohan wearing the same clothes to school that isn't a uniform would be so tacky in real life. No. Poor Gohan. We think Chi-chi would never allow her son to look so miserly even if they weren't rich, so...

**Author's Note:**

>  **Disclaimer: Dragon Ball/Z/GT/Xenoverse/Super** /etc. belong to their respective owners. I own nothing except this derivative fanwork which I do not profit from.


End file.
